“i don’t see why we need to spend time to talk about emotions cos it doesn’t solve or change anything”
this sentence (or variations of it) is nothing new. many people go by this and i respect their choice if they do shift through their emotions well and this works for them.
however there are two other groups of people.
1) the group that says this and end up suppressing their emotions and then letting it overflow into something else. getting triggered and then redirecting their emotions at things and people that is not the cause of their initial emotion.
2) the people who feels deeply. telling them you see no point in them talking about their feelings and emotions is the same as telling a kid to not behave like a kid. people who feels, need to feel. when being told that, what it tells them is that you are an unsafe space.
to be objective and clear on this:
often, it is true that talking about emotions don’t fix the issue that is being spoken – that is what a solution possibly do.
but it heals what’s beneath. it gives space for the person to be seen and heard.
and being seen and heard builds trust and relationships.
some people feel seen and heard by sharing about their day. some feel that by sharing about their achievements. some feel seen and heard when being asked for advice.
and some feel that by talking about their emotions.
(many times we are a combination of a few)
to say that it solve nothing is debatable.
it ‘solves’ relationships gaps.
it ‘solves’ trust issue.
it ‘solves’ feeling of being alone.